Wednesday, January 1, 2014

screw santa claus

ok.  i know that i am really talking about me here since technically i am the one who brought all the toys into the house, but screw santa.

turd

ever since the jolly fat one rolled up into my house on christmas eve with his sack-o-chinese consumerism, there has been a real air of entitlement getting sucked down around here and this mommy is not a fan.  

the kids have not been their usual sweet selves.  they have been "i wanting" and whining and talking back and just generally having some real B-R-A-T moments.  i am appalled.  (if you've never called your kid a brat before and are upset with me, i have opened a complaint line: 1-800-idontgiveadamn.  call away.)

like i said above, i know that i am santa and, therefore, i take the complete blame for overindulging my kids, but i know for a fact that i am not the only person that has done this.  we all want our kids to have everything their little hearts can desire... and even a bunch of stuff they didn't even know they wanted yet.  but y'all.
come on.  don't we think christmas has gotten a little out of hand?  

i am guilty as charged of being the first one to put every single thing my kids do on facebook/instagram/twitter.  hell, i'd probably put it on myspace too if that hadn't died somewhere in the first half of the 2000s.  on christmas day i saw a bevy of pictures of overflowing christmas trees and piles of presents and happy kid faces.  but can we all just be honest for one minute?  didn't the novelty wear off somewhere around hour 2 of present opening and the kids were just like "whatevs" and tossing stuff aside.  it's ok, you can tell me.  and don't we think our kids would have been just as happy with a few presents they really wanted?  and lastly, at some point don't we think that presents just for the sake of more, more, more is kinda sorta teaching the wrong thing to our kids?  huh?  don't cha?  don't cha? 

well, i do.  and i certainly learned my lesson this year.  it doesn't help that my son's birthday is 4 days before christmas so he opened literally every single present of his for the entire year in the span of 4 days.  dude was rolling deep in discarded wrapping paper ala scrouge mcduck in his money vault.  and yet, he didn't think he had gotten enough.  #mommyfail.  i don't even know really what pound signage is about, but mommy fail deserves one.  i'm certain.  

i wanted so much for this time to be special for him and c, i lost sight of the real meaning of christmas. there, i admit it. but,  i am paying for it dearly now.  i just want my sweet kids back.

i usually only make 2 or 3 resolutions a year that i know i will see through and they're usually always the same from year to year.  this year, i am making an additional resolution to NOT go overboard with christmas next year.  that's a resolution i am really gonna have to concentrate on because i start getting excited about the kids' faces christmas morning about 22 seconds after i pack up the halloween costumes.  i will stick to it.  i encourage anyone else (i know you are out there) who has been less than pleased with their kids behavior since the man in red popped in to do the same. 

 why are you winking at me, bro?  that just ups your creepy factor.

so i guess it's not really screw santa, but more of a screw this idea of more is better.  i mean, i really want santa hanging over my kids' heads all year so they'll act extra nice.  however, he needs to keep his bag contents in check and don't come stepping to me with more than about 3 presents per kid next year.

and i'll also mention that it does not help that these kids are running around sugared up little messes from halloween until the last of the christmas cookies are gone.  my kids are the type that could eat their one piece of chocolate from their advent calendars and i'd be like "who gave them chocolateeeeeeee!" because they were fully acting like nuts.  their sweet little brains misfire on too much (re: any) sugar. 

p.s. has anyone ever really had the guts to give their kids a lump of coal when they darn well deserved it?  i salute you if you have.

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