Wednesday, February 13, 2013

hiatus

I'm writing this right now from the comfort of my bed, snuggled in between 2 cuties who don't care if my legs are shaved (which is good because they definitely aren't), wearing a pair of humongously oversized underwear that i got after my c section (that i could roll down 4 times and still be able to use as a floation device for at least a family of 6 in the unlikely event of a water landing) and an old West Point shirt while waiting for my parents to go to bed so I can sneak out and put out their Valentines Day presents. They totally won't read this until after they've already gotten their presents though, so I'm not to worried about giving away my trade secrets here.

I know this next statement is probably going to sound a little confusing, but let me e'splain. I took a hiatus from the book of faces. you're probably all "say whaaaatttt? how comes I'm reading this right off the link I got on Facebook?" I'm hiatusing (totally not a word) from checking Facebook. I'm still going to post pictures directly from my camera roll on my phone, still going to reply to threads, still going to post blog entries for you to read there... these are all things I can do without logging in.

I gotta say I was inspired by a friend of mine who said she didn't miss it. I said "are you KIDDING ME????" but then I thought I might try it to. I mean, guys, I love knowing all about what your auntie's cousin's brother's friend's barber thinks about President Obama or that you are one of 600,000 people who are helping someone who is still 400,000 likes from getting their kimono dragon or that thanks to the pesky new Facebook privacy settings that because you posted on the wall of colonblow.com we all know what amazing results you've been having or well... you get the picture. I went on a rant the other day bc I was up to my ears in baby hate. (seriously, who could hate a baby?) I saw many more rants coming down the pipeline so I needed to step away.

don't get me wrong. I really do look forward to seeing your pictures and hearing what's going on in your life. so much, in fact, that I considered it a real sacrifice to give up Facebook for lent. I will miss "having my coffee" with everyone everyday. but because I'm Catholic and someone told me one time that I don't have to do my resolution on Sunday (I don't know if that's true, but I'm going with it)-I'll see you Sunday! I can't wait to see what new bandwagons we've all jumped on this week. I'll get my cowboy boots ready. :)

but really. prepare yourselves. I will be blowing up your Facebook with comments and likes on Sundays. M-Sat ill still post pics and blogs and answer posts, just don't be surprised if you don't see me updating my status or e-highfiving you for a bit.

I'm off to enjoy some uninterrupted by Facebook snuggling with my mini-mes. :)


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Sunday, February 3, 2013

Haunted Hot Springs Part Two

alright! this is where it starts to get good.
since we'd called ahead and we aren't the valet types (and our car was so packed that it only had an opening that was J sized in the drivers seat), we drove around looking for the self park. we finally found it a pretty decent clip from the actual hotel. it was a parking structure with about 3 levels. there were broken bottles, urine pools, and not another car in sight. I can't remember if we couldn't turn around or if we just thought we'd ride to the top and check it out. either way we got to the top and did one of these "hey, you feel like having all your worldly possessions stolen and getting raped today?" "nope" "me neither. alright cool. valet it is"
off we rode to the hotel. we pulled into the valet feeling rather uncomfortable bc we didn't exactly know how we were going to reverse Tetris out our suitcases and we didn't really want an audience. it turns out there was exactly one attendant in the hotel parking garage; an 80 year old Hannibal Lecter. No.shit. I promise you this guy could have been Anthony Hopkins very wrinkly body double. Since we were literally the only guests in the hotel, Hannibal the Cannibal drive our car approximately 10feet and parked it.
First impressions of the hotel? Gorgeous. First impressions of the staff? You can put a fancy uniform on an axe murderer, but it's still an axe murderer. ok. so we give them our name and our reservation number. They guy at the counter says "oh, I see you're originally in this room, but we are going to move you to room 6-6---------5."
we gathered up our things and headed off to our room. up the elevator from an Alfred Hitchcock movie and down the hall from the shining. we got to the room and realized the door was one of those slotted doors that you see heading out to a lanai- think Golden Girls. I'm pretty sure it was constructed of balsa wood and Elmer's glue. force protection? I think not. it was approaching dark when we got settled and we decided to head to the hot tub.
this trip was in February so neither of us brought bathing suits so we headed off in our underwear. we were literally the only guests in the hotel. literally. so we didn't think it'd matter.
we had been in the hot tub approximately 5 minutes when an old man came hobbling up the hill. 3 important things from our conversation with him. 1. he did building maintenance and he went to school with Bill Clinton (bc I'm pretty sure everyone his age-ish once upon a time went somewhere with him). 2. he told us that the hotel was literally at capacity the night before, but everyone went home. riiiiggghhhtt and 3. he was talking to us in our skivvies. awk-ward. when Bill Clinton's BFF got done with us, we headed for our room. By this time, it was probably 9 and we'd been driving all day so we were ready to turn in.
Hold on to your socks y'all.
since we'd already discovered that the door couldn't withstand a karate chop by a kindergartener and because we are super stealth ninjas, we put a chair in front on the door to protect us from boogie men and headed off to sleep. everything was proceeding normally until 300am on the dot.
at 3am, our door opened up and then slammed shut. WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!
the room was pitch black and we couldn't see anything. I scrambled to turn on the light and knocked over one of everything on the way. no one was standing in our room holding a drippy axe or anything, but something definitely wasn't right. It was pretty much a no-brainer that we were leaving. I told j I was taking a quick bath and he said "THERE'S NO TIIIIIMMMEEE!" as he was throwing everything into our suitcase. I was pretty sure the ghosts were back in the ghosts poker room having a laugh at our reaction and they'd leave us alone for a while. J had decided it was an axe rapists because no one would be around to hear our screams. axe rapists are like axe murderers but with a different intent in case you were wondering.
either way, we left. at 304 we checked out of the hotel. they offered to have the valet fetch our car and we said something along the lines of "naw dude, we can see it from here. just give us the keys"
by 306 we were in the car and headed the HELL out of Hot Springs. we had to drive down a country road about 20 miles to get back to the interstate. of course a one-headlight hoopty followed is the entire way through the fog.
once we were on the interstate we relaxed a little, but we didn't stop until we got to the first rest stop in Texas. we both took naps sitting straight up for about 3 hours and we headed on toward home.
and that's the story of how we were run out of Hot Springs by ghosts.
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Location:Belair St,Pascagoula,United States

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Haunted Hot Springs Part 1

Picture It: February 2007. It was a time before iPhones. Central air. And the wheel.

But really. It was February 2007 and J and I were engaged and we decided to road trip from Kentucky (barf) where J was in OBC to El Paso where I was stationed. We loaded up the ole Volvo with a green girl, some standard issue trunks, and a few duffle bags. It.was.stuffed. Like think can if biscuits joint pressure. There would be no seat reclining and I had about a 1/8inch clearance on either side of my body. What better way to set off on an 18 hour journey?

J had already done most of the trip in reverse when he was leaving from BOLC (do they still do that?!?) at Fort Sill to Fort Knox for the start of OBC. Mind you, it was the summer.

As part of his summer travels, J stopped in a little place called Hot Springs, Arkansas. (I used to know a little about the history back before the incident. I've since blocked it all out). J was mega impressed. He told me all about the cute little shops and all the gorgeous mineral springs buildings and the majestic hotel that sat up on the big hill overlooking the city.

J insisted that we put Hot Springs on our itinerary for the return trip and by golly we'd stay in the hotel on the hill. Now let me just be honest about something right off the bat. I knew 2 things about Arkansas. 1. the capital and 2. that's where Bill Clinton came from. J said it was awesome though, so I was all for expanding my horizons.

Imagine my surprise when we rolled into town and I got slapped in the face with fart. This was my first experience in a town with Hot Springs. I don't know if you've ever been to a place with Hot Springs but the surrounding area smells like rotten eggs and broccoli farts. I, to this day, do not understand how anyone could relax surrounded by such a horrid smell, but I digress.

So for starters I'm gagging at the stinch, then we are driving and realizing that all the shops are closed since it's Sunday. Well, I do not know where they bus the shop keepers in from but I can tell you that no one lives in that town. We literally did not see a single soul. Not one person. outside of the hotels skeleton crew the entire time we were in Hot Springs.

... To Be Continued


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Location:Bartlett Ave,Pascagoula,United States