Thursday, July 5, 2012

parade

I *may* or may not have marched around in a circle with my kids holding sprinklers while singing "your a grand ole flag". we made for one Hell of a Drew family parade around our 3 foot circle. now that we've had a practice round in the backyard, we need to take this parade to the skreets.

anyway, we are in Pennsylvania have a grand time. we've already done all sorts of fun stuff.

on Tuesday we visited deer park zoo. judging from the name I really wasn't expecting much. well, the name and the fact that it's not in a very big city. however, I was pleasantly surprised. I was expecting raccoons (rabid optional) and a goat or sheep or horse perhaps. when we arrived we were greeted by a flock? group? bunch? of deer. some of the bucks were even still in velvet. I've only seen a buck in velvet once and it was far away. I got to touch these deer's horns. very cool. they had "animal crackers" you could feed them. feeding them and petting them was really a treat. we also saw and fed black bears, goats, cows, and monkeys. the zoo also had some gorgeous Bengel tigers (and tiger cubs), a lion, lioness, and 2 timber wolves. we were having a lovely time until the skies opened up and it stormed all over us. finally after huddling in the cave with the black bears for 15 minutes, we decided we'd better back it in. Emily ran with the umbrella and we shuttled folks to the gift shop under the umbrella. cool thing about deer on Tuesday? they were in velvet. gross thing about deer Tuesday? there poop isn't super fun to run through when its washing downhill. barfola.

Wednesday we went to 2 picnics and saw tons of family. it was great fun. it made me really glad that we came up to visit!

today has been hard for me. I've been with the kids pretty much 24/7 since last Thursday. yes, im an attachment parent and they sleep in the bed with me. I love them very much and am so thankful for the time I get with them, but sometimes you need some time away to get some breathing room and a moment to clear your head. I've reached that day.

I didn't anticipate just HOW HARD this part of deployment would be for me. I, honestly, was most concerned about how the kids (namely j) would do when Daddy J didn't come home from work at 5 and he was missing him. I guess I politely blocked out any thoughts about "what about mommy when Daddy doesn't come home to relieve me at 5?" i took for granted how many times I got to say "I'm running to the store" or "I'm going to go do this real quick" although I was never usually gone more than 1 hour, it was enough to step away get some breathing room and come back a refreshed mommy. that's definitely been the hardest part. i absolutely do not want to take advantage of anyone's generosity and I'm super stubborn, so it's hard for me to say "please watch these small terrorists so I can get a breather" but I gotta do it. it's probably as good for them to get a break as it is me.

in other news, Ive been really teary today. I miss J a lot. I didn't get to talk to him hardly at all today bc it seems that everytime he calls there are a million things going on to keep me from being able to talk with him. it's also hard too because there is a lot of him here. we are sleeping in his bed, in his old room, and around all his old stuff. it just makes me wish so badly that I could close my eyes and when I'd open them he'd be here. of course, if he was in town there is no way I'd be able to go anywhere for a month bc I'd get to missing him too bad. I'm
very thankful for this opportunity to be nomads and travel without feeling the need to rush back to J.